"golden retriever boyfriend" alright well were putting him down
"ingredients you can pronounce!!!" actually i'm great at phonics and i love eating chemicals
"me and who?" you and a therapist
"sorry that probably doesn't make much sense" <- for perfectly intelligible & logical statements relevant to the present conversation "you get what I mean." <- for unparsable non sequiturs
a pastry is more than a snack or little treat it is medicinal. it's a vitamin
a single fried shrimp just ran out of the restaurant sobbing
and after all this im still horny. the human spirit is unbreakable
bait for lonely dudes who get no bitches and stack no paper
being horny is for girls. why are you as a man thinking about titties? you wish you had some, sissy? you should be thinking about war or some shit.
call me ROYGBIV how i’m visibly on the spectrum
can you hold my hand it's my first time killing and im kind of nervous
covered in cuts and burns and bruises and scrapes from trying to find download links
drunk with no man to feel up is like having a blunt with no pepsi
even tho im annoyingly insufferable would you still hit be honest
every time i say fag i hit my juul 3 times so my brain knows fag is a good thing to say
fucking a fleshlight with a strap on. no genitals in the equation at all
girl i love the word puttering...like yes i am just puttering around...doing my little tasks...going beep beep....
girl im gonna eat the microplastics out of your pussy
gravity was a big discovery i guess but nothing compares to realizing girls can kiss girls
hate when ugly bitches take selfies and caption it with “imma just leave this here” no bitch take it with you
he’s literally soaking wet hanging from a clothesline do you guys even care
i am big and strong and immortal and also funny and good at art and also the smartest person alive i am the secret ingredient to a good day
i could never date a girl who's a cuck. she would be severely disappointed in the reality that i pull absolutely no girls whatsoever.
i cry a lot. lot because i’m mentally ill (i’m not.), but i’m channeling feminine energy and balancing the universe; if i cry, it means a girl out there won’t have to. i’m breaking gender stereotypes, saving women, and letting my emotions out all at once.
i feel so guilty telling shawty “no” cause as your man what i mean no??
i have a theory that ugly people created a fake propaganda that hot people are mean bullies. because i’ve never once funn insulted by a hot person. it’s always the ugly gremlin bitches who be brave af. like WTF??
i heard the GOVERNMENT put guns and bomb in his fat gay ass and esploded him. SAD. well theres other guys
i know this is so dumb but i genuinely cannot imagine men having thoughts. like they say things and know things but no thoughts
i love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol
i love using my phone in public surely i will not scroll past some strange image
i really do feel bad when the most unfunny people say “my trauma makes me funnier” like little did you know you went through all that for nothing
i truly believe we're only put on this earth to hang out
i was born in a wet paper bag and my mom needed to put me in the toaster oven to make me crispy enough 2 survive
i will NOT take slander from ugly people. i reFUSE to let ugly people call me ugly. you will pay for what you’ve done to our society alessia cara. i hate you so much girl.
i wish everyone who is happier than me would die.
if the autistic shawty hits you with the “:3” she’s trying to stim on your shit like crazy
if youre "career driven" fucking grow up. im hanging out driven. im goofin off driven. im grabbin a bite driven
if ur one of those scary motherfuckers who says "i just cant get myself to drink water! i never do i hate it" or you need some sort of flavor additive to your water. you need to be observed by scientists immediatley. you need help. how do you "not like water you blue raspberry conditioned freaked. what you want your water to taste like pinapple watermelon lychee ice puff bar? ur sick. u are so sick you need help beyond comprehension. you need sweetener for your water? get a grip on reality. you would not survive a day in 30,000 bc... it's so sad
instead of complaining about my driving, learn to be thankful i hit the curb and not the family of four
i’ve never understood the concept of bullying... why tf are you mad that i’m ugly
ladies we gotta start throwing weaponized incompetence back at men. use teeth
life is not a beauty contest, some ugly people are great. what i hate is nasty, ugly people. the worst is ugly short men. women can be short, but for men it is impossible. it is something that they will not forgive in life; they are mean and they want to kill you.
life is short, but for some people, it should be even shorter
made a realisation that if you have one awkward interaction no one actually cares and you don't have to like. kill yourself. do other people know about this
men are stupid and i don't respect them
men will cum in anything…..you could throw a plate across the room and a man will fuck it before it lands
my girl look so good today i'm about to scream and moan and throw up
naming your son after your husband is insane dickriding
need head from a broad with acid reflux. make it sizzle princess
never seen any bad bitches in a poly relationship. just two mid women and a gremlin man
nothing is more psychosexual than when your female friend has another female friend who kind of hates you . girl what do you want
ohhhhh my god u only had an iced coffee to eat today? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?should we invite bella hadid
prince philip dying at 99 made me realise i never kept it 💯 with you. he died as a prince and i’m dying to make you my queen
sending a girl i like a picture of her and her boyfriend with the caption "us"
sexism against men doesn’t exist, i know because i’ve tried to create it my entire life
since you like stats so much, become one
shopping carts are pathetic little herd animals and when you don’t bring them back to their corrals after they’re done helping you they scream and cry and wail because they’re alone and scared and exposed to predators. you have the power to prevent this
shove your robot girls in the fridge if they have heating issues
something about a man having an opinion just doesn't sit right with me
spongebob would swear celibacy if he ever found out what sex is cause if he got prgnant he wouldnt have time to cook crabby patties
taking my sopping wet pathetic meow meow puppybeast of a boyfriend to the vet. we're getting him put down
the last man on earth sees his 3ds light turn green
they should put raised catholic in the dsm-v
they should invent "being wrong" for women
vampires aren't even scary like okay you want to bite and suck? who doesnt
what if this happend to you in real life this is why i{m kind to everyone i meet you never know who is dealing with their own horizontal oscillating set of pyramidal frustum platforms
what is it about pussy that needs ice. like it's a match made in heaven. even if it was in the fridge before i still pour it over ice
what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you're stupid
whenever people look down on me for not being a fully "functional" human being by society's standards i try to remind myself that if they were in my shoes they would have shot themselves in the head by now
why would you even transition if you were going to look like this kind of man
women are obsolete and loving one is the gayest possible thing a man can do
wow this place is a freakshow. i dont respect literally any of you people
y'all dippin ur dicks in smoked salmon before u hit the club so it smell like u got bitches.
you don’t get to make me anxious on MY iphone
you have a moral duty to post hole on main. doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it
your honor in my defense i'm not reading all that shit
“let people enjoy things” okay i enjoy critical thought
“they shouldve fucked raw” actually is the most insightful and thought provoking commentary and analysis that can be said for any media and if you disagree you'll never make it in this business
a wild bird pulsed there, caught in a cage of bone, about to burst through, shaking my whole body with each throb. i began to want to hit my heart, pierce it, if only to stop that ridiculous throb which seemed to wish to leap out of my chest and be gone to make its own way.
a woman is an idea, an entity, something illusory. there are no real women
against the odds is after all how most of love happens
allow people to like you, to enjoy your company, to want to be your friend. allow them to compliment you, allow others to think you’re cool and funny even if you think you’re not. it is not up to you to tell others how to feel, and remember that people might see the positive things in you and qualities that you have been failing to see while being too self-critical. allow yourself to be liked by other people, even when you don’t see why they should. don’t self-isolate because you think you are not good enough for other people.
and i don't think anyone is really listening to me, but what i'm trying to say is that there are parts of being a teenage girl that never really leave.
and so i started thinking, how great it would be to get a nudge, a tap on your shoulder, a moment or two before your life changes. stop what you’re doing and look around, you’ll want to remember this later. in a minute, you’re going to fall in love.
be unconsumable and indefinable. people will still like you.
but if the devil were to see you, he would kiss your eyes and repent
can you hold me? i am no pillowcase paper plate rose, i am nothing so fragile but i am delicate. ivory breaks with force.
ever had a girl fall asleep on you? on purpose? best feeling. suddenly, my body is no longer disgusting – it’s a comfort. i am no longer a predator – i am her safe harbor, her watchdog, her pillow. something safe and strong.
for heroes, there are trials. for saints, there are temptations. for me, there is you!
happiness comes in waves. it'll find you again.
i am not brave but sometimes i am made brave by my friends which is to say i am made brave by love
i believe in a god who understands why people jump from bridges. i know that kind of sadness. that motion, terrifying stillness. god knows it too, has to know it too.
i blur at the edges i’m all soft shapes and lines shapeshifting all the time
i know kindness exists because i am kind. if you are capable of it then so are others. be your own proof of concept.
i love that instant when an arc of light passes through a room and i'm reminded that everything really is moving.
i love tragedy i love circular narratives i love ppl who cannot escape their fate & characters that have been dead since the beginning
i still wait for the day you come back and tell me you’re sorry.
i wish you could see yourself through my eyes.
if a haunting is an open wound, then resurrection is a knife widening the cut.
if i never tell her the truth, i might be able to stay with her forever... no. there’s no such thing as “forever.” but, i’d do anything to be with her for just a day, or even a second longer.
if something atrocious has happened to you, say “this is the end of chapter 1.” many novels place atrocious events at the end of their first chapter.
if your tooth hurts, your tongue keeps going there. you are always conscious of a wound.
in another life, i would have loved to have just done laundry and taxes with you
it begins to rain. you'd think that blood would begin to wash from linen. it doesn't.
it's the last day of somebody's childhood. and every day i'll try to do one thing i like, in memory of being happy
jealousy is just admiration gone sour.
love demands expression. it will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. it will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid.
love is attained through embarrassing yourself by asking for it instead
nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.
people invent love every time they love each other.
she guessed my favorite color first try… but between me & you… i didn’t even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow! she was smiling like a little kid. so i told her she was right and i haven’t seen yellow the same way since, its in everything. i could live in it now
so, you don't think i love you just when you're good, and stop loving you when you're naughty, do you? that's not the way mothers are. i love you all the time, because you are mine.
sometimes, you just want something so hard you have to lie about it, so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute
something soft flashed quickly in their eyes, and i wondered if i’d imagined it
the best of life exists beyond everything we are meant to feel bad about lacking
the fact that you exist means that there’s a long line of people that fell in love with someone that looks just like you.
the first sign of a civilized society is a healed femur. in the world, it is a death sentence, but if found healed, it is direct evidence that someone has fed, protected, and nursed a fellow human rather than abandon them to ensure their own safety. it says to me that human love, empathy, and compassion are the most fundamental aspects of our existence, and that is the way it has always been
the inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.
the number of hours we have together is actually not so large. please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.
the snow may cover it now, but it will soon melt away, just like the heavy years in one’s life.
the thing i will never admit is how desperately i want to be loved, i don't think i could say it. how i want someone to hold my wrists and kiss my palms and smile at me and want me, i want to be wanted and i don't know how long poetry or songs will substitute for being wanted
this is why people cry at the movies: because everybody's doomed. no one in a movie can help themselves in any way. their fate has already staked its claim on them from the moment they appear onscreen.
this love will crumble if we touch. but when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away. that's why i decided to keep your love prisoner. to make sure that you love me forever. that game will make our love ‘eternal.’ i'm sure of it. we were lovers lost from the beginning.
thursday. the sky is overcast. i still have the umbrella i got you three years ago. you always forget to bring one when you leave, you said. i still worry about you when it rains.
to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it
to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you.
understand: anything can be red, usually when something or someone splits open.
utena tenjou punches the stone ground so hard that her fist breaks, and drags her broken body to the heart of the world. she bleeds pure love, and the mechanism cannot bear it.
we're all mosaics of everyone we've ever met.
what is grief, if not love persevering?
whatever you are feeling right now, there is a mathematical certainty that someone is feeling that exact thing. this is not to say you aren’t special. this is to say thank god you aren’t special
wherever you are it’s okay. you can come back from it. whatever happened to you down there, whatever the world looks like now, that’s not how it always looks. that’s not how it’s always going to look. there’s more. there’s always more.
when someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. others are abrupt and unfair. but most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy
when you get, ‘you’re an angel,’ that seems like such a high place to fall from. when i see messy or violent or terribly behaved women, especially young women, there’s a liberation. to not have to try and survive by being good.
while its sweet that you want to make sure people don’t have negative feelings, there’s a lot of humans in this world and we’re always going to be stepping on each others toes so maybe don’t let people feeling annoyed with you define you.
words are a kind of magic. totally weightless, without shape or substance, but the strongest things in the world. if you say something, then for a moment at least, it’s true.
you can have my heart if you have the stomach to take it. kiss me hard enough to invert me.
you need to draw and make art or else all the images will stay in your head and you'll get sick
you should never do anything that will have consequences on anything less than a full stomach
you saved the apricots to share with me, i know they're your favorite. i know i'm your favorite too
you wear an ancestor’s face. you look like a woman you’ll never meet. in that mirror, there’s thousands of you and in the bath when you look down, she looks back, shaking and deforming in the ripples as she lies beneath the surface. you are the ghosts of people you never knew.
you will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. you will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. people will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. none of these things make you a bad person. all you can do is try your best to be kind, to learn and grow.
your body doesn’t exist to be looked at. it exists to DO, go places, let you exist!
you've got the jokes, you've got the songs, you have this anecdote that's going to make you laugh three years later. it's this language that you build. that's what you mourn for when you're losing someone you love. this language you're not going to speak with anybody else.
